Manic Monday

Today I woke up ready for the new day. My alarm went off at 6:11 am, I got dressed, brushed my teeth and welcomed a new baby. Baby Emma. She was sleeping and smiling so I placed her in her own little room. Waited for Shai to get ready for Seminary and headed off. Picked up A CUTIE.....Sean Michael and off we went. While the kids are having class, Stacy and I walk and talk. Jonny is right, our mouths are faster than our walking! LOVE IT!

Got home and Ron was holding Emma.......DON'T GET ANY IDEAS BUBBA! ;P
Got a shower, the two boys got here, got Karrea breakfast and a movie and I was set for the day. Been playing on the computer in between cleaning house.

Things are going good and then I read something on facebook, an old friend I met on an email group........she found her daughter passed away saturday morning. Talk about devestating!!! 19 years old. Makes you wonder why Heaven Father needs her more!?

So now I'm sad. Now I don't feel like doing anything but hugging! and nobody (my kids except karrea) are here! Kiss your kids, hug your kids, love your kids Pray for your kids. What a sad time for Charlene! Prayers and hugs girlfriend!!!!

random thoughts

I have had a few moments of reflection lately. I have two babies in the morning..wyatt and dustin. That leaves extra computer time for me. I have two older ones come in the afternoon after the babies leave. Which entertains Karrea.
Sunday our lesson was on Trials and Adversity with Pres. Eyring. One of the points that was made over and over again in the lesson was...PRAY for the things that you need. SERVE...and your problems don't seem so big. Through prayer I have been guided to contact a friend or two, whether in an email, or on the phone. Its embarrassing to show your weaknesses and struggles, but its been a great help to me to receive the extra faith and prayers of friends and family. Wisdom comes to all of us that seek it, I believe.
Ron has been working more on his own lately. I'm not sure he likes it, but he is doing good and he is learning the things God needs him to learn.
I'm grateful for babysitters that help us while I work with Ron. I have a lot of faith in these girls that I leave in my home to take care of My babies! lol. I am grateful for the friendship I had/have with the Stake Primary Pres. I will miss traveling with them. I am not sure where I will be serving next, but I hope I'm ready. I hope the Lord needs me. I hope I can learn valuable eternal lessons from it.......patiently, and lovingly! I do enjoy my calling in the family history center. The spirit is Old and strong!
It was fun going to the Les Miserable try outs last night. I can't believe the talent that Kearney Nebraska has. Shai was amazing. I hope the Lord sees fit for her to be in this play. She really wants to qualify to be a thespian this year. We walked in and the kids were very nice to her. Talent, is all I can say. Its a little quieter around here with Adrienne gone. She is on her way to Utah for a wedding. NOT HERS! a friend of the Pinchaks. She is enjoying life and learning lots of new things. I'm very proud of her and I know and expect her to live up to her potential!
Life is good today. God is Always good!

Where is time going?

I have received so many wedding invites this summer.

I love watching people fall in love, even my own daughter. I just pray that God is guiding her and blessing her.

I have reflected on the friends that have sent me the invites. Young women, who I have seen little scrawny 12 year olds at girls camp, now they are beautiful Princesses glowing with pure love and delight. It just blows my mind! My heart is so full for them.

It is good to see these girls marrying at a young age too. There for awhile a lot of the YOUTH were choosing to 1. Marry later, like 25 or later, 2. Not at all.

It was sad to see. Because we really can't reach Exaltation without the trials and tribulations that a marriage and children bring into our "selfish" lives. These are the things in life that take us out of our selfishness. I'm not sure why they chose to wait, but hopefully its not because they are waiting for MR PERFECT.... that is NEVER going to happen. Perfection comes from learning and growing with God and with someone else.

I want to send out CONGRATS to all my youthful, lovely friends who are getting married this summer or past year.

1. Jessica McMurtrey
2. Kimberlea Edwards
3. AJ Sovine (Elder Sovine, LOL)
4. Cherean Kendell
5. Lauren Johnson
6. Chalyse Johnson
7. Danielle Sargent


Better yet, I love the babies that are coming. I have had the pleasure of having a few of the young women I served when I was in the YW program bring their babies to me to serve them. What a gift from God. Seeing the love they have for the Lord and their little ones.

God is good, and where does the time go?

Bullies

You know.....I'm tired of bullies. I have been bullied all my life. I don't understand a bully, and I don't think I ever will.

I think there is a difference between sticking up for someones rights and just down right being mean to someone. Being mean just to be mean or antagonize is just NOT RIGHT and its a bully.

I think Bullies are selfish, and I wished God gave us the right to throw them to the curb, but nope! We have to put up with them. Why? Because people are afraid they are going to offend the bully! yet its okay for the bully to offend every day.

Every morning I see this bully I just want to scream........BE NICE......JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!

Yet my mouth stays closed because I'm afraid of the bullies mom! How funny is that? NOT FUNNY AT ALL.

Does she think she is funny? Cuz she is not! Does she not realize that the road paved with selfishness (its my seat, i called shot gun, its my last piece of cake, etc etc) is a long hard road in the life afterwards? I don't think bullies do. Its all about them and the moment. Who cares who's feelings get hurt.

Just when you think you kill one bully with kindness (or they move) out comes another.

God..........Give me strength!!!

Saturday is a special day.......its the day?????

We get ready for Sunday?

Nice try! That is what it really should be... that is the fantasy version of my saturday.

This past saturday was agony and frustration.

I got up around 8 because Ron was showered and heading out the door....no goodbye, see ya, nuttin! (now sunday he can sleep all day, like a kid on cartoon day!)

Karrea came in......I said, where is Adrienne? She said, I don't know....she left and forgot to give me a hug. Yep. She left for Colorado without a hug or goodbye. It must have been hard for her thinking she would have to kiss her baby sister goodbye. I'm okay with it. She was brave in going. It's a long drive. I'm proud of her.

I got myself ready for the day. Justice and Karrea went to bible study. Why are other churches FUNNER? Shai and I went for Chinese after we waited for Ron to get back from the dump, he decided to eat hot dogs with his mom. grrrr

Then I got a frantic phone call....come and help me with this garage sale stuff! UGH! Ron wanted to organize it. It was already organized. I knew everything in that garage. He didn't and it was driving him nuts. Word to the wise, you don't let a pack rat go through stuff you got rid of. This stuff was supposed to be at Goodwill, not piling up in grannies garage! UGH! I was so upset!

So saturday was shot, which killed sunday? NOPE....the teachers were wonderful and filled my bucket. I'm so grateful for teachers that study and pray for the spirit to guide and direct them. What a wonderful Sunday!

I got called into the Stake pres. office. I got released from Stake Primary. Pres Page said he would let the bishop know I was available, I just cried. Kearney doesn't need me! I headed to the youth fireside. I heard some kids bearing their testimonies about martins cove, I needed uplifted. It was great! Needed to hear what the Stake president said....Even though it may be hard, YOU may have to choose to leave your good friend behind so you can both grow........HE said it better than that, but I felt like he was talking to me.

It was a Good night..... mixed emotional weekend that was for sure!

I still melt down at 4:00

I have been home 4 out of 5 days this week doing daycare. I have Dustin, who is 1, and his baby brother Wyatt, who is 4 months. Karrea is almost 4, and Josie is 4. Kaleb has been coming after school around 3:15, and Shai and Justice get off the bus at 4:00. Adrienne hasn't been home around that time, she is either getting her passport stuff ready, or working her last 2 nights. Ron has been working. I have fixed supper most of the nights.

Why oh Why do I fall apart around 4:00?

It is really starting to bother me. I have done this for years. Is it the hustle and bustle of getting the kids to do "their things" after school? Don't they know that if they just do the routine mamma is happy? OR is she? I'm so frustrated at myself. I wished I could just take a pill at 4:00 pm

I don't get up in the morning with my kids either. Since Kindergarten they have been getting theirselves ready for school. They want to start the day out great, not with mamma bear growling at them "do this, do that, get going, your hair needs done, that is not what you should have for breakfast!"

Maybe I should take a nap around 4:00 so I don't have to deal with them laying around and not doing "their things". hmmmmmm that is a thought!

Growing pains

Growing pains in the Matson house. I like them, I hate them.

Yesterday I helped Ron in Hastings. We cleaned an office, we cleaned a huge house, and we cleaned a living room and hall. Long day. Good day.

Ron needed my help so he asked Adrienne to watch the children for me. She was willing to help. It was nice. I have really seen her learn and grow in the kid department. I remember how frustrated she was last year. I wanted to take that away from her but I couldn't. I had No control over where I worked, when I worked, what children would be home for the day. It was truly frustrating on both of our parts.

The daycare kids are great, but when there is a new face.....buttons get pushed to the limit. They try and see just how far they can break the rules without getting punished.

I kept telling Adrienne there was a reason she was experiencing these behaviors. Take it to the Lord and he will guide you. I gave her a few pointers. 1. is be consistant. 2. is make the punishment fit the crime. 3. Make sure they say they are sorry and realize what they did was not proper.

This year the children are the same, but she is different. I know God blessed her, and made her experience those things last year while I helped Ron build his business and we built a better relationship.

Now we are all facing the fact that Adrienne is needing/wanting to spread her wings. As delicate as they are, and as strong as she thinks they are, I am willing to let her go. I can see that is just about kills her to be home.

The Lord tells me that Adrienne needs to leave so she can really come to be who she needs to be. We all do at some point. Ron left home when he was 23. He enjoyed living at home and helping his mother/father. I left home at 17, not necessarily to be on my own. I was "shipped off" to have a baby out of wedlock. I turned 18 and then I was off to college. I tried going back home but I didn't like how I was treated, or who I was, so Off to Cedar City I went.

Adrienne is 18, going to be 19 in October. We love her here when she is happy here. We want her to leave when she is not happy here! The growing pains continue to come and go.

Last night her and I talked until 4 in the morning. I will miss that Adrienne. I hope she misses that mom.

After I said my prayers and read my scriptures I felt impressed to share a few thoughts that I had. At this age, (18) I am not able to just come up to her and preach to her. She has to be "ready" for my thoughts. I was grateful that last night she was "ready". 11:00-4:00, we talked about a lot of things. Things I needed her to talk to me about when she was 6 years old. She finally found the words and courage to tell me. I'm so proud of her. My heart is sad for some of the Lessons she has had to have.

I tried to tell her that through life experiences we bring up the past to help others, not to hash out, and relive old feelings (well, unless they need healed). Just because I may bring up some past experiences doesn't mean that you are be grudging person. Our life experiences are ours, and they are there for a purpose. Remember with reverence.

We will miss her! She will miss us! I can't wait to see how strong her wings will be in this lifetime. I just pray that we are included in her flight plan! LOL

Star Struck

What a fun opportunity. Shai is my music "freak". She talked me into going to the Demi concert. I hesitated until she told me David Archuleta was opening for her. I WAS SOLD. Saved my pennies for the trip. Tickets=57.00 (on the floor), Gas=100.00, Double Suite=130.00 (for 6 people), Personal Pose at the Winter Quarters temple for me and Stacy=Priceless.

Funny story.

I rounded the corner of the WQ temple and saw cars along the street. I looked at the doors to see if anyone was coming out, maybe I could snag their parking place. 4 people were walking.

Oh My HECK! That is David Archuleta? No it isn't. YES IT IS!!! I drove by really slow. Now, I drive a big ole Yukon, Dark windows, and "pimp" wheels! haha (no one throw tomatoes at me for that description, lol) I am sure I looked like a stalker. I looked, YES IT IS! YES IT IS!....Where is your camera? I scrambled for it, as I'm driving back around. I rolled down the window.
David! David! (he was kind of hiding himself. I could tell he was like, I'm not even safe at the temple, for feets sake!)
We are going to your concert tonight! (he perked up and smiled, so did his "company")
I realize this is the temple, but can I get a picture of you!?
Um Sure!
Thank you....my hands were shaking so bad. I turned the camera on and fumbled for the snap shot, while shooting my mouth.
I know its the Demi Lovato concert but we are going to see you! That made him laugh! I got a cute picture of his smile...at the Temple. I didn't want to take up his time and we were running late.
I feel bad I had a hard time concentrating...I found the strength, I forced myself to be OUT OF THE WORLD.

I still smile!
I had a blast at the concert.
Jordan Pruit sang 3 or 4 songs, and David sang.......not enough songs! Demi was good. But I loved loved loved the spirit of David. Look how famous he is and still finds time for the most sacred thing we can do in this life! I'm so happy for him. I am glad I had that opportunity to see that...it gave me strength in all of my struggles.

Here is a big hug David! From one worthy saint to another! (struggling, not perfect, but continues to try and be worthy)

Day in the life of Shay.....Wednesday

Wednesday was a normal day in the carpet cleaning business.

I'm up and at em after Ron takes a shower. If I don't wait...then when I fix my hair I get the frizzy side of the hairbrush, because of all the steam off the shower.

I get my uniform on. Its khaki pants (my new ones are in the guys section, in the dickie section. I love them, they have the painters pockets! YAY). I get my red shirt with MY Name on it! SHUTTER TO THINK, I have to tuck that shirt in, but I do. I put my belt on, my socks and my asics. (white and pink, mind you! LOL!!!)

I grab the phones, and then the schedule book. I remind Ron to get supplies.

We make a breakfast sandwich (usually PBJ or ham and cheese roll up), grab some dannon smoothies, some chips, some water, some coke and Zero, and we kiss the kids goodbye, the ones that lets us. Give hugs, like 20 times. Usually have Karrea run out the door, please mommy, stay home today! (whaaaaaaa)

I take phone calls all day. If I find that they are telemarketers I save them to my phone and mark them PEST! so when they call again I know not to waste my minutes!

We arrive at the HUGE HOME! WHITE CARPET! Overwhelming feelings usually come over me. WHERE DO I START. I usually bring in the "edger" and Ron usually brings in the Hoover. but sometimes I get them both.

I introduce myself and Ron. We get shown around the house. I started edging, then after Ron vacuums one room, I usually tell him to go ahead and bring the equipment in and start on that room and I'll vacuum the rest of the house. TOP TO BOTTOM. yes, my edger doesn't know how to stay on the ground. it finds its way in the corners and on the blinds and vents, and edges, and ceilings...retiring Charlottes web!

It usually takes me an hour and a half to vacuum a huge house. 5 rooms, halls, and 14 stairs. (we usually get 199.95 for a house like that).

Whiile Ron is scrubbing the stairs by hand after he buffs, I usually grab the buffer and continue with the cleaning. Wednesday Ron had some red dye remover, so I ended up cleaning the dining room and living room. Doesn't bother me, I had my Zen in my ear and jamming and singing.

I usually bring the chemicals to Ron. I usually take all the stuff to the van. I am the ultimate gopher girl. He usually doesn't have to ask me to do anything. I am usually intune to what is needed for each house. I am truly blessed to have that gift that I KNOW only God can give. I thank him Everyday for that gift.


This particular home was a mess (meaning lots of traffic stains).....she had buried her husband a month earlier. Plants were a sign of the love that was in that home. Plants were everywhere. He must have had a lot of friends. Pancreatic cancer. I offered my sympathies to his son. Mom was off resting somewhere.......hawaii maybe?


Really puts life into perspective...you see pictures on the walls of hugging and a sign LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK! I felt very teary that day. I worked especially hard to take the burden off of her. I wanted everything to look and smell perfect for when she came back home. She didn't waste time getting rid of his stuff, it was too painful to look at it. I'm afraid I would be that way too.

Maybe have a shirt or two that smelled like HIM.

We finished the house in 4 hours. It was my pleasure. I tell my customers when they see the edger off the ground...I'm sorry I'm OCD about helping people. I haven't had any one complain YET! The little older ladies just love that I can see them and I'm willing to serve.

I haven't broke anything YET. I can see it happening! LOL

We went to the bank to deposit all the checks Ron recieved for the week. it was just about Sonic happy hour, so we headed over there and I got a diet strawberrry limeaide.

Life got crazy when I got home. Daycare, the house was a mess. I needed to clean up the dishes, the house, changed my clothes, did some emailing. I have phone calls all the time. I have a 3 year old that demands a lot and a 18 year old that hates me now because I don't want her to live at her boyfriends house! I have a son that is sad because I won't take him to steak buffet because I just ate 2 pieces of cantaloupe, 3 pieces of watermelon and 1 lb of cherries. Wait until that kicks in.

So I head off to the Church to pick up the faithful Family History Patron. Willard.

We get to church, I open the doors, turn on the computers and we start to find that the computer is slower than the 70 something patron that is with me! LOL!!!

I get a couple visitors in the room, a scout comes in yelling and screaming, I was told we could come and annoy you! what?

8:30 rolls around and we head to walmart to drop off Youth conference camera's and a young lady who needs a ride because mom works at wally.

I take Willard home and I head back up to wally to pick up my 14 year old who is checking out the Miley Cyrus clothes line! for stick people!

I get nagged to half death to go to tcby. So I go. They are out of chocolate peanut butter. UGH So I ask for strawberry. Adrienne gets her orange sorbet, (she doesn't speak to me all night except to tell me what flavor she wanted), and then Shai gets handed a strawberry, and then the lady says, I'm sorry, i only have half a strawberry, I say...top it with vanilla.

We sit and eat...oh Adrienne did ask me if I wanted her waffle cone....what was left... NO THANK YOU.

I get a phone call. A sad little man wondering where I'm at...longing to be in the Yukon with us at TCBY. So I hear his sad voice and then hang up...to get 2 more phone calls that I ignore, because I can't handle the guilt

its 10:00 by now. I'm tired, its been a long day, its only going to longer on thursday.

I get home, get prayer said, Karrea screams because she doesn't like night night time. She wants to party all night.

She is in sissy's room helping Shai POUND on her computer chair. Driving Adrienne crazy because she is laying in bed with her clothes on talking to her BOYFRIEND.

Karrea jumps on Adriennes bed and sees a baby picture of herself, and comments. I go over to the cork board and I see the words poophead, so I glance to see who is talking like that......OH......Okay.......then Adrienne is snotty to me........QUIT READING MY STUFF. I threaten that if you talk to me rude like that again I'm smashing your phone (mind you I have warned her twice already) She tells her suiter that I am BI POLAR and I warned her again to stop being Rude.

I finally say prayer with karrea, hugs and kisses, night light, radio, dora night light, shut the door, clean off her bed first because she has every book, blanket, shoe, doll, toy, scrap paper, sippy cup, and pillow on that bed. UGH

I shut the light out, and close the door....only to hear....MOMMY!!!! My water isn't cold in the sippy cup! So I march in there trying to be patient.

Shai is finally done pounding her computer chair. It really should go in the trash!

I tell Justice for the 12th time to get to brush his teeth and get to bed, him and shai have the giggles, they seem to like to annoy adrienne while she is googoo on the phone..."oh, you're so cute, he hee!" (rolling eyes) I wished she was that nice to us!

I find myself to my room. Take my makeup off, love the new mary kay wash clothes!!

brush the teeth, say prayer, read my scriptures, whine to Ron about how rude Adrienne is to me, he tries to ask her what her problem is, I over hear her.

"she acts like a five year old. she shouldn't let what i say get to her. she needs to get over herself. she shouldn't be reading my personal stuff.......(hello its posted on your wall, if you don't want people to see it, put it away! DUH) She chooses to react, she chooses to be offended and mad.

So now its MY FAULT? hmmmmmm

I tell Ron, either she moves out, Or I DO! I will take karrea and move! I am so beyond done!

I have enough to worry about! don't you think?

I finally fall asleep at 12:00 or later....and it starts all over again the next day!

Where can I turn for Peace? Who will help me bear my burdens?

HOW DO THEY KNOW!?

The past month or so my spirituality has been questioned. Who am I listening too? Are you really listening to god?

My motives have been questioned too. I am being seen as a person out to hurt people!

That is not in my nature!

If people only wanted to know the real Shanon!

one week til school starts

I am not sure if I Am going to celebrate, or cry. Life is changing so much. Kaleb is going to school this year. I have had him since he was 6 weeks old. He is being a holy terror, so I may celebrate at first and then cry. Cooper starts school this year too. He has been here for over a year. Mom was at whits end with potty training and sippy cups. He grew up in 3 weeks after he came. He used to complain he was so tired and he was cranky, then mom got him some glasses and he has been so sweet! I'm going to cry when he starts school. I got a call from Coopers aunt who wants me to watch her 2 month old baby. I'm going to cry! This is baby number 3 from that family along with little guys I have watched, so all in all, I have watched 7 of the "grandkids" from the Stevens. I feel very honored!

Justice starts middleschool friday. I think he is a nervous mess. Shai will be a sophmore. Wow.....I think the musical this year is going to be amazing! I hope she makes it! Adrienne is packing up her room, she claims she is getting clostraphobic in her room since Shai moved in, but I think she is moving closer to the mountains soon. We are all getting anxious for her to move ahead in life.

I'm really nervous, Ron may need me to work with him, but I have to run a daycare. I enjoy working with him. I have 3 children in the morning and 2 in the afternoon. Karrea doesn't start school until 2012, that means I'm home for a few more years. Wow. I have thought about putting her in preschool, she loves other kids. How can I leave these babies?

Life changes! Wow!

I think I'll cry a little bit and then I'll celebrate! LOL

random thoughts of July

July went by too quickly! Too many late nights, early mornings. Ron and I cleaned carpets in our sleep. It was the biggest money making month he has had. I'm very proud of him. He even paid me for my services. YAY! I turned around and bought groceries with it. What is new. My big slurge was a pedicure and some gel nails! YAA!

I did have a 5 day vacation. Went to Colorado. Went rafting in the colorado river, ate at the olive garden, my favorite place. Met some new friends and maybe family and got to know Adrienne a little better. Good and Bad! Life lessons!

I missed some of my visiting teaching ladies, which made me really sad because of the business! Learned that I can give a long talk. I think it was about 20-25 minutes. Bishop told me to sit down, LOL embarrassing!!!!! I haven't received a phone call about it, telling me I was an embarrassment to my husband or children, so I guess its all good! Had my kids listening and crying. Is that all that matters? maybe! Ron even got teary eyed! He said it was a great talk! God is good!

I miss my friends online and in real life! Don't really want more time in a day, just maybe a break to do some fun things too. Maybe in the CK? LOL!!!

My dad called me. That was cool. My step dad called me about 12 times. My granny died. I'm happy for her. She had a few strokes after 2004, she was not herself. God took her mobility, and voice. What could she do? WEll, I know what she couldn't do. She couldn't hurt Jerry or I any more. I hope she had time to make things right with God. Sheriff showed up on my deck. Scared the kids. The Power of Attorney didn't know my phone number, I shut off my landline and went to all cells. They found me on the internet. Thank Heaven's for Internet. As much as she was mean to me, sitting at the morgue for over a week is not a good thought. I didn't make it to her burial because I was in Grand Junction. She didn't mention me in her will, but my kids. They may get some yarn if they are lucky! Rest in Peace Granny! I hope you and your daughter are now speaking! God Bless!

random thoughts...gotta love them! Gotta get them off my chest! Have a great one!