Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Growing pains

Growing pains in the Matson house. I like them, I hate them.

Yesterday I helped Ron in Hastings. We cleaned an office, we cleaned a huge house, and we cleaned a living room and hall. Long day. Good day.

Ron needed my help so he asked Adrienne to watch the children for me. She was willing to help. It was nice. I have really seen her learn and grow in the kid department. I remember how frustrated she was last year. I wanted to take that away from her but I couldn't. I had No control over where I worked, when I worked, what children would be home for the day. It was truly frustrating on both of our parts.

The daycare kids are great, but when there is a new face.....buttons get pushed to the limit. They try and see just how far they can break the rules without getting punished.

I kept telling Adrienne there was a reason she was experiencing these behaviors. Take it to the Lord and he will guide you. I gave her a few pointers. 1. is be consistant. 2. is make the punishment fit the crime. 3. Make sure they say they are sorry and realize what they did was not proper.

This year the children are the same, but she is different. I know God blessed her, and made her experience those things last year while I helped Ron build his business and we built a better relationship.

Now we are all facing the fact that Adrienne is needing/wanting to spread her wings. As delicate as they are, and as strong as she thinks they are, I am willing to let her go. I can see that is just about kills her to be home.

The Lord tells me that Adrienne needs to leave so she can really come to be who she needs to be. We all do at some point. Ron left home when he was 23. He enjoyed living at home and helping his mother/father. I left home at 17, not necessarily to be on my own. I was "shipped off" to have a baby out of wedlock. I turned 18 and then I was off to college. I tried going back home but I didn't like how I was treated, or who I was, so Off to Cedar City I went.

Adrienne is 18, going to be 19 in October. We love her here when she is happy here. We want her to leave when she is not happy here! The growing pains continue to come and go.

Last night her and I talked until 4 in the morning. I will miss that Adrienne. I hope she misses that mom.

After I said my prayers and read my scriptures I felt impressed to share a few thoughts that I had. At this age, (18) I am not able to just come up to her and preach to her. She has to be "ready" for my thoughts. I was grateful that last night she was "ready". 11:00-4:00, we talked about a lot of things. Things I needed her to talk to me about when she was 6 years old. She finally found the words and courage to tell me. I'm so proud of her. My heart is sad for some of the Lessons she has had to have.

I tried to tell her that through life experiences we bring up the past to help others, not to hash out, and relive old feelings (well, unless they need healed). Just because I may bring up some past experiences doesn't mean that you are be grudging person. Our life experiences are ours, and they are there for a purpose. Remember with reverence.

We will miss her! She will miss us! I can't wait to see how strong her wings will be in this lifetime. I just pray that we are included in her flight plan! LOL

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