Even though spring hasn't really sprung, life is starting to begin to make a little sense.
I have been fasting and praying for a break through for Me to Crazy. Things are going pretty good.
I met Elia Gourgouris last year. Bought his C.D. talk and it just laid around my room. Waiting, I suppose until I was ready to hear it. Even though I was wishing it was more for Ron. Shame on me.
This month's fast was dedicated to My Changing this marriage through the Grace that God gives us ALL.
I woke up early Sunday morning and felt like I needed to go to the Hastings Ward by myself. I just wasn't in the mood to fight the kids, or have the kids fighting, and I figured Ron was a big boy, if he wanted to go he would be up and ready to go and ready to help me get everyone ready.
Nobody stirred, so I didn't stir it up.
I left quietly. Leaving an angry old crazy at home. (I didn't know that until after I got home and the kids were like deer with the headlights in their eyes. NO CHURCH TODAY for them, sorry kids. some lessons are hard to learn because they really do effect others.)
On the way out the door for Hastings the Lord whispered to me to find my Elia CD so I searched quietly in my bed shelf. There is was.
I put it in the Grand Prix CD player and listened with full open heart and mind. I was so blessed to have almost an hour to listen and ponder.
I left after church and listened to it again. I hung on every word. Pondering on What God wanted ME to change. I knew. I knew it! I knew GOD KNEW IT. Now, what am I going to do about it.
I got home to wrath. It wasn't pretty. I just shut my mouth and told him it was his choice. I didn't quite know what to say to not make things worse. I took a small nap and tried to get a hold of what I had just learned from Dr. Gourgouris. He talked to us ladies at Time Out For Women but I get so discouraged because you can uplift me til I'm reaching the stars and practically heaven but I come home to (excuse my french friends) HELL! It really does weigh heavy on me at times. I try to fake til I make it, well, I'm a good actress, but NOT THAT GOOD!
I don't have the strength to change myself or anyone for that matter. I did realize that God can and will change anyone if you let him. You have to give him your will! Then he will mold and change you the way you desire.
Monday morning Crazy took Shai to seminary. The CD was in there. I noticed that he sat in the car for awhile. (is he really listening too?)
We both got ready for carpet cleaning and we headed to Hastings (the one hour commute). I brought up the attitude from yesterday and that it didn't feel very good. I mentioned to him that I think we have a surviving marriage and I really desire a Thriving marriage. I asked him if he listened to Dr. Gourgouris and he said he had. (most of it). I asked him if there was anything in the marriage that we needed to change. Of course everything is PERFECT in his eyes. He didn't want anything to change. I started to cry.
I told him about Elia saying that we both have to want a thriving marriage. He agreed to listen and do as Dr. said. I asked him what he wanted me to change. NOTHING! (ugh) I said, okay...can I tell you what I want you to change and what I am willing to change? He said YES. I said...Will you LISTEN TO ME? will you make eye contact, and really listen to me, not just over the magazine or the TV or your mind on a car, etc. I don't feel like I have the strength or energy to repeat myself to a 44 year old man. I do that with the kids and the daycare everyday. It just doesn't seem right or fair. He said he was willing to do that for 7 days! you can do anything for 7 days.
I told him I would be willing to NOT CRITICISE for 7 days!
For 7 days Crazy listened to me and I did NOT criticise. BEST WEEK EVER
I was explaining this briefly to my friend the other day after the YW broadcast that we both watched. I told her when I promised not to criticise it erased the very thought of even keeping track of DUH NESS because I gave up that right to even say anything. It was very freeing! It was very nice to not have to say anything. I didn't have that right because I gave up that right to judge, you could say!
If I find myself back on that path, or making a comment to Crazy, I am quick to apologize. I like who I am now. I don't want that surviving marriage, I want the thriving marriage, and I feel this is the first step in the right directions. Occassionaly I ask Crazy, Are you listening?
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The Road Trip
Last friday Shai, Adrienne, and I headed on the road to North Platte around 9:45 am. Adrienne and I had a great talk while Shai listened to her MP3 Player. Music "is my passion". We got to Applebee's around 11:10 and waited for Bonnie and her friend (hopefully my new friend) Jeanne.
We had a great talk. We shared stories and tales and the spirit. I learned a lot of things about these two ladies. I'm afraid I talked to much tho. Sorry ladies! I felt very blessed to be part of this Road trip with these two ladies.
We got to Denver and checked into the Residence Inn on Zuni. It is like an apartment. We hung out and talked some more waiting for the other ladies to arrive. Laurie and her SIL showed up and checked into their room while we contacted Tauna and her mom Lois. We all decided to meet at the Black Eyed Pea. I think we all had a wonderful home cooked southern style meal. My dessert was all you could eat rolls! haha
We left the restaurant and headed to the Denver Merchandise Mart and there we enjoyed an evening with Wonderful music from Michael McLean, and the speaker was Chieko Okazaki. Mark Mabry shared his video experience with us. He is responsible for Reflections of Christ.
http://deseretbook.com/video/view/5
What a beautiful message that changed not only Marks lives, but mine and some of my family members. Karrea asks to watch this almost 2 or 3 times a day. What a blessing to all of us! I hope you can see it. He did this for free. Don't feel like you can't share it. This was the purpose of the slideshow, to build testimonies.
There was a break in between Chieko so people could meet the presenters. I waited in line to meet Michael McLean with Adrienne and Shai. I couldn't contain myself. I was so speechless when I saw him. I wanted to tell my whole life story to him, but I didn't. We took a picture and got out of line. I over heard a lady talking to Michael about how she loved the song From God's Arms to My Arms to Yours because she had adopted a baby girl. I couldn't help it, I walked over to him and said, I love the song too. I placed a baby boy up for adoption 23 years ago, I tearfully walked away and smiled.
Before the night was over he sang that song! I'm not saying I'm the reason for it, but I do feel like he sang that to me. Ha ha. I have waited almost 14 years to have him sing that Too me. I was so excited. There were a lot of wet eyes before he was done singing. I knew then, I wasn't the only one who experienced that song! I know that song speaks to so many on different levels. What a special night it was for me. You could have sent me home and I would have been a happy camper.
We went back to the room and talked and talked! Tauna headed back home, she had to work the next morning because her bosses dad all of sudden passed away. I missed Tauna and her super funny character. I got her mom though. Wow. When I grow up can I be like her mom? We talked after til after 1:00 am (I think)
Up in the morning for a fabulous breakfast. I ate til my tummy was totally satisfied. YAY!
We got to the Denver Mart and enjoyed a day with Kenneth Cope, Mary Ellen Edmunds, Deanne Flynn, Wendy Ulrich, and S. Michael Wilcox. I have to say my favorite was Deanne. She reminds me of me. I would do something that dorky! I would tell a story like that too. I love to embarrass myself and others. Haha!!
We headed home after the conference and enjoyed all that we learned. A little after Fort Morgan we started to see the roads were wet. The spirit told me several times when to speed up and when to slow down. I hesitated to stop and get something to eat but Adrienne hadn't eaten all day and the mom guilt was starting to get to me. I pulled over to a gas station/Country Pride and the ladies were so nice and let us order and eat. It took over a half an hour to get our food. We were there over an hour. By the time we got out of there the roads were covered in snow and kind of scary. I felt bad, but I knew the Lord would guide us and bless us.
One time we saw a van off in the ditch, it just reminded me to follow the rules (the spirit) or we could end up over there. I felt very calm at driving, even though I should have been very nervous. I was grateful for the wonderful conversation to keep my mind off of the conditions of the road. If I would have had to totally concentrate on them I would have freaked out! Ha ha They really were scary, slickery!
We finally got into North Platte and we dropped off Jeanne. She lives in a house I always wanted to live in. I think that is funny! A tall house with pillars. I have always pictured myself in a house like that in the country. I don't think it'll ever happen, but its fun to think about it.
We got to Bonnie's house and she gave me a tour of her Beautiful house. What a special spirit she has in her home. We settled down and got about 6 hours of sleep. Up and at em. Bonnie fixed breakfast but I was so nervous from the thought of doing Sutherland Conference by myself I couldn't eat. It was really snowy and foggy out, and to top that off, I didn't have the address of the Sutherland Church. We were totally going by the spirit. Thank goodness for morning prayers with Bonnie's children. I totally feel like that started our morning out with a Sweetness.
We got into Sutherland and as I passed the first road the spirit said to me, turn around! I did. Mind you all of Sutherland is a fog. You couldn't see 25 ft in front of you. I got to another road and passed it, the spirit along with Adrienne said, Mom, I feel like its over there. Sure enough, there it was. What a blessing. We were only 10 minutes late. The presidency meeting went well and Church was wonderful. What a pioneer heritage that Branch has! I felt very blessed to be there. (the potluck was SUPER DELISH! too.) Now there is a tie in potluck! Hyannis or Sutherland? Hmmmmm. Let the contests begin! Adrienne and Shai were very pleased too.
We left and got home around 4:00. I crashed when we got home. Justice, Ron and Karrea were at the park enjoying the 50 degree weather. What is up with that? Couldn't even tell it had snowed and we had a scary night just hours before that.
The Lord taught me so many things that weekend. I know what I know. I have a testimony of many things. This I know....The Lord loves me and answers my prayers!
We had a great talk. We shared stories and tales and the spirit. I learned a lot of things about these two ladies. I'm afraid I talked to much tho. Sorry ladies! I felt very blessed to be part of this Road trip with these two ladies.
We got to Denver and checked into the Residence Inn on Zuni. It is like an apartment. We hung out and talked some more waiting for the other ladies to arrive. Laurie and her SIL showed up and checked into their room while we contacted Tauna and her mom Lois. We all decided to meet at the Black Eyed Pea. I think we all had a wonderful home cooked southern style meal. My dessert was all you could eat rolls! haha
We left the restaurant and headed to the Denver Merchandise Mart and there we enjoyed an evening with Wonderful music from Michael McLean, and the speaker was Chieko Okazaki. Mark Mabry shared his video experience with us. He is responsible for Reflections of Christ.
http://deseretbook.com/video/view/5
What a beautiful message that changed not only Marks lives, but mine and some of my family members. Karrea asks to watch this almost 2 or 3 times a day. What a blessing to all of us! I hope you can see it. He did this for free. Don't feel like you can't share it. This was the purpose of the slideshow, to build testimonies.
There was a break in between Chieko so people could meet the presenters. I waited in line to meet Michael McLean with Adrienne and Shai. I couldn't contain myself. I was so speechless when I saw him. I wanted to tell my whole life story to him, but I didn't. We took a picture and got out of line. I over heard a lady talking to Michael about how she loved the song From God's Arms to My Arms to Yours because she had adopted a baby girl. I couldn't help it, I walked over to him and said, I love the song too. I placed a baby boy up for adoption 23 years ago, I tearfully walked away and smiled.
Before the night was over he sang that song! I'm not saying I'm the reason for it, but I do feel like he sang that to me. Ha ha. I have waited almost 14 years to have him sing that Too me. I was so excited. There were a lot of wet eyes before he was done singing. I knew then, I wasn't the only one who experienced that song! I know that song speaks to so many on different levels. What a special night it was for me. You could have sent me home and I would have been a happy camper.
We went back to the room and talked and talked! Tauna headed back home, she had to work the next morning because her bosses dad all of sudden passed away. I missed Tauna and her super funny character. I got her mom though. Wow. When I grow up can I be like her mom? We talked after til after 1:00 am (I think)
Up in the morning for a fabulous breakfast. I ate til my tummy was totally satisfied. YAY!
We got to the Denver Mart and enjoyed a day with Kenneth Cope, Mary Ellen Edmunds, Deanne Flynn, Wendy Ulrich, and S. Michael Wilcox. I have to say my favorite was Deanne. She reminds me of me. I would do something that dorky! I would tell a story like that too. I love to embarrass myself and others. Haha!!
We headed home after the conference and enjoyed all that we learned. A little after Fort Morgan we started to see the roads were wet. The spirit told me several times when to speed up and when to slow down. I hesitated to stop and get something to eat but Adrienne hadn't eaten all day and the mom guilt was starting to get to me. I pulled over to a gas station/Country Pride and the ladies were so nice and let us order and eat. It took over a half an hour to get our food. We were there over an hour. By the time we got out of there the roads were covered in snow and kind of scary. I felt bad, but I knew the Lord would guide us and bless us.
One time we saw a van off in the ditch, it just reminded me to follow the rules (the spirit) or we could end up over there. I felt very calm at driving, even though I should have been very nervous. I was grateful for the wonderful conversation to keep my mind off of the conditions of the road. If I would have had to totally concentrate on them I would have freaked out! Ha ha They really were scary, slickery!
We finally got into North Platte and we dropped off Jeanne. She lives in a house I always wanted to live in. I think that is funny! A tall house with pillars. I have always pictured myself in a house like that in the country. I don't think it'll ever happen, but its fun to think about it.
We got to Bonnie's house and she gave me a tour of her Beautiful house. What a special spirit she has in her home. We settled down and got about 6 hours of sleep. Up and at em. Bonnie fixed breakfast but I was so nervous from the thought of doing Sutherland Conference by myself I couldn't eat. It was really snowy and foggy out, and to top that off, I didn't have the address of the Sutherland Church. We were totally going by the spirit. Thank goodness for morning prayers with Bonnie's children. I totally feel like that started our morning out with a Sweetness.
We got into Sutherland and as I passed the first road the spirit said to me, turn around! I did. Mind you all of Sutherland is a fog. You couldn't see 25 ft in front of you. I got to another road and passed it, the spirit along with Adrienne said, Mom, I feel like its over there. Sure enough, there it was. What a blessing. We were only 10 minutes late. The presidency meeting went well and Church was wonderful. What a pioneer heritage that Branch has! I felt very blessed to be there. (the potluck was SUPER DELISH! too.) Now there is a tie in potluck! Hyannis or Sutherland? Hmmmmm. Let the contests begin! Adrienne and Shai were very pleased too.
We left and got home around 4:00. I crashed when we got home. Justice, Ron and Karrea were at the park enjoying the 50 degree weather. What is up with that? Couldn't even tell it had snowed and we had a scary night just hours before that.
The Lord taught me so many things that weekend. I know what I know. I have a testimony of many things. This I know....The Lord loves me and answers my prayers!
Monday, March 9, 2009
What do I know!
"As our love for the Lord deepens, our minds and hearts become purified. We experience a “mighty change in . . . our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually." --Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin,
"The Great Commandment", 2007 General Conference
Psalm 36:7
God's Daily Care, Hymn #306
Time Out For Women was Fabulous! The drive was fabulous, and safe, considering I drove! The Conversation was FABULOUS. Getting to know my children and Bonnie and Jeanne was Fabulous! Meeting up with Tauna and meeting her mommy was FABULOUS!
The Theme for TOFW was Sweet Assurance. They asked us to ponder this question in our hearts and in our mind and focus on that.
What do you KNOW!
What do you want to know? Hopefully the spirit will whisper to you the answers.
I was getting all the cookie cutter answers out of my head. I wanted to dig deep into my soul and find something that I know 100% ( I was going to say 99%, but reflecting on that...the truth is 100%) of the time of my life, no matter if there was SIN or WEAKNESS in my life.
I KNOW THAT GOD ANSWERS ALL OF MY PRAYERS!
Karrea is in a phase where I will say...You need to get your nighty gown on. I KNOW MOM! Five minutes later I am reminding her that she still doesn't have her NIGHTY GOWN ON! You really need to put your clothes in the hamper and not on the floor. I KNOW MOMMY! I say, then if you know then you need to do it! That is called integrity. I KNOW MOMMY! We go round and round.
I feel that same way with Heavenly Father. I know Heavenly Father, BUT!!!
Here are the I KNOWS BUT....
I know I am a daughter of God (but I don't feel that way some times due to what others may say to me, or what I may say to myself)
I know that my husband loves me. (but it doesn't feel like when I have to run around with a chicken and he has his feet on the floor sitting on the couch)
I know my children love me. (but when they talk snotty to me, or disregard my feelings on things I don't feel like they love me or deeper, I don't feel like they respect the relationship I have with them or my Father in Heaven that I feel leads and guides me all the time)
I know I have friends in the world. (but it only takes one move to ruin it. A miscommunication, a lie or an exaggeration, so that is scary)
I know I'm in the callings that I have now for a reason. I have always felt that way. (but there have been some callings where I have accepted and said, this will be interesting to work with her, ha ha, or I have turned down a calling only to be called into the Stake a couple weeks later and I say..OH that is why I didn't accept the AD day leader! or Nursery leader. I doubted myself, thinking I was going apostate, ha ha)
I know I visit teach the ladies I'm supposed to. (but I wonder if I am helping them, and wondering if I could have those other ladies TOO. I miss them)
I know the Lord has me in Kearney for a reason. (but my spirit feels really good in the Hastings ward and among the Hastings people that Ron and I work for)
I know the Lord lives. This I do know and there are No BUTS about that one. I have felt his presence. I have known of his love for me. I know that He Answers all of my prayers no matter what I may be doing at that time. From a simple question....where is my slip? to Should I be the manager of Fillmore's?
I have had my prayers answered in the bottomless sin pit. I have had my prayers answered in the temple a few weeks ago.
I will share that experience.
I went to the Winter Quarters temple with my friend Rhonda. I went there for peace and comfort and total relaxation with my dear dear friend. Whom I love no matter what! (She's quirky, and so am I ----sticking my tongue out!) Crazy and Rhonda's husband came too but they didn't go in the temple they went to harbor freight.
I was sitting in the Celestial Room and I grabbed the Triple combination. I said to Heavenly Father....What do you want to tell me today.
D&C 88:67-68
I have pondered that off and on.
I went to the temple on the 21st of February, 2 weeks after my birthday. It was the ward temple day. The youth had gone there too. Adrienne was in Idaho having fun and Shai was down stairs in the baptismal, CRAZY, Karrea and Justice and Raymond were at the visitor's center checking out the movies, etc.
I sat in the Celestial Room again and I got the triple and held it by the binding and let it open again. Same Place....D&C 88: 67-68, I read 69 this time too.
I began to cry.
Thursday I was supposed to have the spiritual thought for the Stake Primary Presidency meeting. Wednesday I pondered and prayed to see what He would have me present. I got my scriptures off my bed stand and I held the binder.
Where did it fall? YES!!! D&C 88:67-68. I read the footnotes.
I know God wants a powerful people and this is how you do it!
I know God Loves me and wants the best for me!
"The Great Commandment", 2007 General Conference
Psalm 36:7
God's Daily Care, Hymn #306
Time Out For Women was Fabulous! The drive was fabulous, and safe, considering I drove! The Conversation was FABULOUS. Getting to know my children and Bonnie and Jeanne was Fabulous! Meeting up with Tauna and meeting her mommy was FABULOUS!
The Theme for TOFW was Sweet Assurance. They asked us to ponder this question in our hearts and in our mind and focus on that.
What do you KNOW!
What do you want to know? Hopefully the spirit will whisper to you the answers.
I was getting all the cookie cutter answers out of my head. I wanted to dig deep into my soul and find something that I know 100% ( I was going to say 99%, but reflecting on that...the truth is 100%) of the time of my life, no matter if there was SIN or WEAKNESS in my life.
I KNOW THAT GOD ANSWERS ALL OF MY PRAYERS!
Karrea is in a phase where I will say...You need to get your nighty gown on. I KNOW MOM! Five minutes later I am reminding her that she still doesn't have her NIGHTY GOWN ON! You really need to put your clothes in the hamper and not on the floor. I KNOW MOMMY! I say, then if you know then you need to do it! That is called integrity. I KNOW MOMMY! We go round and round.
I feel that same way with Heavenly Father. I know Heavenly Father, BUT!!!
Here are the I KNOWS BUT....
I know I am a daughter of God (but I don't feel that way some times due to what others may say to me, or what I may say to myself)
I know that my husband loves me. (but it doesn't feel like when I have to run around with a chicken and he has his feet on the floor sitting on the couch)
I know my children love me. (but when they talk snotty to me, or disregard my feelings on things I don't feel like they love me or deeper, I don't feel like they respect the relationship I have with them or my Father in Heaven that I feel leads and guides me all the time)
I know I have friends in the world. (but it only takes one move to ruin it. A miscommunication, a lie or an exaggeration, so that is scary)
I know I'm in the callings that I have now for a reason. I have always felt that way. (but there have been some callings where I have accepted and said, this will be interesting to work with her, ha ha, or I have turned down a calling only to be called into the Stake a couple weeks later and I say..OH that is why I didn't accept the AD day leader! or Nursery leader. I doubted myself, thinking I was going apostate, ha ha)
I know I visit teach the ladies I'm supposed to. (but I wonder if I am helping them, and wondering if I could have those other ladies TOO. I miss them)
I know the Lord has me in Kearney for a reason. (but my spirit feels really good in the Hastings ward and among the Hastings people that Ron and I work for)
I know the Lord lives. This I do know and there are No BUTS about that one. I have felt his presence. I have known of his love for me. I know that He Answers all of my prayers no matter what I may be doing at that time. From a simple question....where is my slip? to Should I be the manager of Fillmore's?
I have had my prayers answered in the bottomless sin pit. I have had my prayers answered in the temple a few weeks ago.
I will share that experience.
I went to the Winter Quarters temple with my friend Rhonda. I went there for peace and comfort and total relaxation with my dear dear friend. Whom I love no matter what! (She's quirky, and so am I ----sticking my tongue out!) Crazy and Rhonda's husband came too but they didn't go in the temple they went to harbor freight.
I was sitting in the Celestial Room and I grabbed the Triple combination. I said to Heavenly Father....What do you want to tell me today.
D&C 88:67-68
I have pondered that off and on.
I went to the temple on the 21st of February, 2 weeks after my birthday. It was the ward temple day. The youth had gone there too. Adrienne was in Idaho having fun and Shai was down stairs in the baptismal, CRAZY, Karrea and Justice and Raymond were at the visitor's center checking out the movies, etc.
I sat in the Celestial Room again and I got the triple and held it by the binding and let it open again. Same Place....D&C 88: 67-68, I read 69 this time too.
I began to cry.
Thursday I was supposed to have the spiritual thought for the Stake Primary Presidency meeting. Wednesday I pondered and prayed to see what He would have me present. I got my scriptures off my bed stand and I held the binder.
Where did it fall? YES!!! D&C 88:67-68. I read the footnotes.
I know God wants a powerful people and this is how you do it!
I know God Loves me and wants the best for me!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Shanon Means
this is what my name means..........haha
You Are Seductive and Ruthless
You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can
influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just
remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to
carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you...
especially in business and academia.
Some people find you
to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for
perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.You are very
intuitive and wise.
You understand the world better than
most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You
often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone
to a little paranoia and jealousy.
You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are well rounded, with a complete
perspective on life.You are solid and dependable.
You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious.
You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You Are Seductive and Ruthless
You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can
influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just
remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to
carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you...
especially in business and academia.
Some people find you
to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for
perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.You are very
intuitive and wise.
You understand the world better than
most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You
often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone
to a little paranoia and jealousy.
You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are well rounded, with a complete
perspective on life.You are solid and dependable.
You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious.
You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
Time Out For Women Approaching!
I find myself very anxious as I see my trip to Denver to Time Out for Women approaching. This will be a new set of friends I'll be with. Will I behave myself? Who knows! ha ha!
Sunday was fast Sunday for me. I love Fast Sunday. I love to fast. I have a great testimony of Fasting. I love the control that I give to Heavenly Father when He sees me give up my passion for 24 hours. I live to eat, I don't eat to live.
I had a particular thing I was praying for. My heart to soften. My mind to soften. Okay, I'll be honest here, my first prayer was to have the other person change. It was their fault, you know. Then I reflected for a few seconds and I continued dedicating my prayer to the fast. Heavenly Father, I know it is me that needs to change. Please help me change.
Saturday night I got the distinct impression that I needed to drive myself to the Hastings Ward Conference. I had planned on taking part of my family. With Saturday morning being full of my loud voice repeating over and over again the things people needed to do so we could leave the house and do some shopping, the thought of having to do that Sunday morning, was NOT appealing to me.
If my family wanted to go Hastings with me, they needed to do their part to get themselves OUT of bed and ready. They are old enough to do that. The 3 year old is ready before any of them. No, she doesn't sleep in her dress, but she would if I would let her. She did have a dress on when I peeked in on her, but thankfully when I got home she had a different one on, ha ha!
I got up, wasn't overly quiet, but wasn't noisy like I chose to be the week before. I went my own pace, searched for things that Heavenly Father wanted me to know that day. I knew I had 2 hours at least to myself. One hour there, one hour home.
I was gathering my stuff and I remembered a CD I bought at the Omaha Time Out for Women that I wanted to get to. Elia Gourgouris is a family therapist. I loved his pep talk. He signed it for me..... Ron and Shanon...best of luck in your marriage. I have been wanting to listen to it, but I guess the timing just wasn't right for me or crazy.
I finished most of by the time I got to Hastings. Very enlightening. Had a great conference. Felt the spirit prompt me on several occasions to give certain advice or encouragement to different people. I LOVE THAT. (one of the major reasons I love to fast. The closeness I feel with the spirit).
I was going to go to the Grand Island 3 Branch conference so I headed down Osborne Highway. It didn't feel right. I turned onto the interstate and headed home. Listening a second time to the C.D. The power I felt was overwhelming. I learned a lot of things about myself that hurt. Things I NEEDED and most of all WaNtEd to change.
These changes are usually only one sided. I go to these TOFW things and I come home discouraged because I just can't do it all by myself. I really want to implement all the things these fine saints have shared but I live in hickville with hicks that don't think life needs any changin.
I left the CD in the car. Monday morning came and it was Ron's turn to take Shai to seminary. He didn't come in right away. We got ready for work and headed to Hastings. Somehow the conversation came up about Deposits in our banks. (emotional banks). He had listened to some of the CD.
We came to an agreement that we would change ONE thing for 7 days. All I feel like I can share is.....So far So good! I hope that I can continue to do what I promised I would do for Ron.
I am so grateful for TOFW. I am grateful for the people who take time out of their day to share their testimonies with us to whom don't have BYU TV access. Sitting in a room full of sisters who want to be a ZION people is very satisfying!
I can't wait! I can't wait to have an adventure with Shai and Adrienne and my new friends, BONNIE and her friend and her friend and her friend and my friend, ha hah!!!! 10 ladies....can it be any funner???
I would encourage anyone to attend. It is so worth the 50.00 for Friday night and all day Saturday.
Sunday was fast Sunday for me. I love Fast Sunday. I love to fast. I have a great testimony of Fasting. I love the control that I give to Heavenly Father when He sees me give up my passion for 24 hours. I live to eat, I don't eat to live.
I had a particular thing I was praying for. My heart to soften. My mind to soften. Okay, I'll be honest here, my first prayer was to have the other person change. It was their fault, you know. Then I reflected for a few seconds and I continued dedicating my prayer to the fast. Heavenly Father, I know it is me that needs to change. Please help me change.
Saturday night I got the distinct impression that I needed to drive myself to the Hastings Ward Conference. I had planned on taking part of my family. With Saturday morning being full of my loud voice repeating over and over again the things people needed to do so we could leave the house and do some shopping, the thought of having to do that Sunday morning, was NOT appealing to me.
If my family wanted to go Hastings with me, they needed to do their part to get themselves OUT of bed and ready. They are old enough to do that. The 3 year old is ready before any of them. No, she doesn't sleep in her dress, but she would if I would let her. She did have a dress on when I peeked in on her, but thankfully when I got home she had a different one on, ha ha!
I got up, wasn't overly quiet, but wasn't noisy like I chose to be the week before. I went my own pace, searched for things that Heavenly Father wanted me to know that day. I knew I had 2 hours at least to myself. One hour there, one hour home.
I was gathering my stuff and I remembered a CD I bought at the Omaha Time Out for Women that I wanted to get to. Elia Gourgouris is a family therapist. I loved his pep talk. He signed it for me..... Ron and Shanon...best of luck in your marriage. I have been wanting to listen to it, but I guess the timing just wasn't right for me or crazy.
I finished most of by the time I got to Hastings. Very enlightening. Had a great conference. Felt the spirit prompt me on several occasions to give certain advice or encouragement to different people. I LOVE THAT. (one of the major reasons I love to fast. The closeness I feel with the spirit).
I was going to go to the Grand Island 3 Branch conference so I headed down Osborne Highway. It didn't feel right. I turned onto the interstate and headed home. Listening a second time to the C.D. The power I felt was overwhelming. I learned a lot of things about myself that hurt. Things I NEEDED and most of all WaNtEd to change.
These changes are usually only one sided. I go to these TOFW things and I come home discouraged because I just can't do it all by myself. I really want to implement all the things these fine saints have shared but I live in hickville with hicks that don't think life needs any changin.
I left the CD in the car. Monday morning came and it was Ron's turn to take Shai to seminary. He didn't come in right away. We got ready for work and headed to Hastings. Somehow the conversation came up about Deposits in our banks. (emotional banks). He had listened to some of the CD.
We came to an agreement that we would change ONE thing for 7 days. All I feel like I can share is.....So far So good! I hope that I can continue to do what I promised I would do for Ron.
I am so grateful for TOFW. I am grateful for the people who take time out of their day to share their testimonies with us to whom don't have BYU TV access. Sitting in a room full of sisters who want to be a ZION people is very satisfying!
I can't wait! I can't wait to have an adventure with Shai and Adrienne and my new friends, BONNIE and her friend and her friend and her friend and my friend, ha hah!!!! 10 ladies....can it be any funner???
I would encourage anyone to attend. It is so worth the 50.00 for Friday night and all day Saturday.
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