Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I think that is a Bitter sweet idea!

I said that to Chris's Aunt Jacquie when she said she would bring me some Canadian candy in person when she comes.
I think she was offended by that comment, because she said.....Shanon, I'm not sure how to take that comment, please explain.

I had been interrupted by Karrea several times, and I was distracted. I apologized for being distracted and said I'm already fat, but yet candy sounds good.

.....being "bitter-sweet" You love it, but hate it!

I pondered why Jacquie might have been thinking. I never in a million years would think the comment I made would be offensive. What was her spirit thinking?

The thought (impression from God) came to me. She may have taken it wrong because YOU should be Adrienne's temple Escort, not her.

I knew Chris's aunts and cousins were going to Grand Junction for Evans Graduation, I mentioned to a few if they could bring me some Canadian candies. Sweetarts and chocolates are different over there then they are here. Very interesting.

I didn't get to see anyone in Grand Junction because of the rudeness/hurtful feelings I had with Chris and Adrienne. (remember I wanted to go to grand junction and Chris told me "they didn't want me to go". I wrote to Adrienne and told her that because of my hurt feelings I didn't know if I could "pray" in the temple with them.

I was informed by Chris's dad that with my angry bitter feelings maybe I wasn't worthy to enter the temple. his comment caused Adrienne to "pray" about who her escort should be, since her mother wasn't worthy to be there. Her answer was Jacquie. When she told me that I tried to be a big girl and suck it up and act like it was no big deal. She is a big girl, she can govern herself.

But it stings. I never said I was angry or bitter or unworthy to attend the temple. I simply said I was hurt. Who goes to the temple hurt? Most of us do, several times over the years. That is where we go for peace!

I should be sitting next to Adrienne as she receives her blessings in the temple.
I guess I'll sit on the back row and pretend I'm good! and cry like a baby.
I don't know what else to do.

It will be a "bitter sweet" day. Don't you think?


Loretta Valenta said...

Shay, you may not see this before you go to the temple on Thursday but I will tell you what came to my mind as I read your blog.

I think that you should go to the temple and sit as close to your daughter as you can -- perhaps on the other side of her from her escort. Do not sit in the back. Hearts soften in the temple because the spirit is strong. She had made a choice that is difficult but it will make it worse for you to sit in the back -- far away from her. Don't let that "symbolic" distance be there, Shay.

I know this is a hard time for you but listen to the spirit. Let your heart be softened toward her and the situation even if you do not go to the prayer circle with her.


Elaine Edwards said...

WTHEck?!!!! you are not her escort? I cant write what I want to here. Sending you an email

Elaine Edwards said...

and furthermore, the instructions at the circle is if you have ill feelings towards anyone in the circle you are asked to withdraw so the Spirit is not restrained. It does not say you are not worthy to be there otherwise it would be in the temple interview questions.