Monday, April 26, 2010


Yesterdays Sunday school was on the prophet Balaam. From what I understand his outward appearance was great. He SHOWED the people how to serve and sacrafice, but inward, his heart, he really sought for the riches and fame of the worldly kind.

I sat in that sunday school pointing my fingers at a few "Balaams" in that class. But a wise Relief Society said to me, to all of us within her ear reach, "if You have one pointing towards someone, you have 3 pointing back at you!"

Serious reflection time. I think I'm feeling overwhelmed lately of the Balaams in the world/ward lately. They come with their lips but not their heart. I mean seriously. The spirit tells a lot of things about people.

There is somone in my life who is just "bugged" by me. I can't put my finger on "What the Heck did I do?" I have tried to be over nice, meaning not with my lips but my heart is usually right with them. Its hard. I'll be walking down the hall and I'll say HI and I get a quick, curt HI. It really does hurt my feelings. I have apologized over and over at the thought of even offending them, but to no avail.

I have found it hard to be in my home lately. There just isn't any team work. We have all puttered out. Me included. The sun is shining. Shouldn't this be a new beginning. Yet I see the three fingers pointing at me. I hate it!

I have a child that just shutters when I try to talk with them. What have I done to offend them? Am I the Balaam, or are they? I am hoping with them its just immaturity. Every where I turn I am getting my feelings hurt. Yet when we are public together people just think life is good. I am screaming inside. I am clawing my way out of this suffering relationship. I am waiting for God to strike me dead! HAHA

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