Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Eye Openers!

Some random thoughts again!
Sunday it was Shai and I at home. Ron was over at his grandma's house helping his mom. I sat in bed and watched and enjoyed General Conference. I have never been able to do that before. Was kind of sad when Shai was displeased when I asked her to watch it. She didn't feel like it! What? She is my spiritual giant. What is she fighting? I think its the music she listens too. She thinks I'm just being old fashioned.

With almost everyone being gone Sunday, I did my usual. Lay around and eat. Why oh why do I do that? I couldn't tell you exactly what I ate, I think I ate everything! I called Ron around 6:30 or so and asked what his plans were. I could tell he was going to go to McCook. I was right. I packed him and Karrea's stuff. Justice came home and said he wanted to help dad unload the stuff they were going to take over to McCook, so I let him go. (good thing the school called and checked up on his absence, I forgot!) He got packed up and they were gone!

What was I going to do with myself on Monday? Oh, Ya, I have two little boys that come over. No such luck of having my day to myself.

I got up at 6:00 am Monday. What? The alarm for Adrienne's birthday went off at 6:00 am! DANG! I got dressed and crawled back into bed. Shai got me up, are you taking me to seminary? UGH! YEP! She was 20 minutes late. She was having a bad hair day! LOL!! I got home just in time for the boys to show up! He didn't realize no one was home. He left the boys in the house. He walked out, I walked in! WHEW!!! That was great timing! I am usually supposed to stay at the church. There needs to be 2 adults with the students at all times, but this time I couldn't stay. Hope all went well!

Got the boys breakfast, and changed their pants and I got a shower. Lunch time, and nap time. I got out the receipts for Ron's business and got to paper work. I had cleaned the house on Sunday, took me 30 minutes to clean the whole house! wow, maybe I don't want a big mansion! LOL! (bonnie :P)

I got laundry done, dishes done and life was quiet and good! I played too much on the computer after I got all the paper work done!

Eye opener! I hate thinking! My mind wandered from one spectrum to the other! I hate time off! I hate time to myself with my own stupid thoughts! I thought about Adrienne all day. This was the first birthday EVER she wasn't here! 19 and GONE. We all feel like she is gone! She might as well be in heaven. We'll never get to see her. She is in lala land with Chris. How sad that makes me feel!

I thought about being alone! There was a man at the restaurant (Shai and I went to steak buffet for supper) How sad he looked all by himself. No ring on his hand! I just wanted to go over to him and invite him to sit with us silly girls! My heart was so full of gratitude I had for all of my family!

There are days I just want to be alone! I just can't handle one more sound or thought! But then I have glimpses of loneliness and I'm grateful! I love chaos, and chores, and dishes and babies crying, and diapers to be changed and teenagers told to Turn IT DOWN!

I don't know how my grandma lived the past 6 years in her own body. No being able to talk or walk or do a thing! Did she die because she drove herself crazy in thought? I hope not. One day of me doing that to myself was ENOUGH!

I will just ask for an hour here or there of quiet! LOL!!

I spent 2 hours at the church last night doing E-courses on Family History! Those were the fastest 2 hours of yesterday! You really do lose your self in service! May we all spend a little time on the new.familysearch.org Its a blast!

1 comment:

Bon said...

how can you clean the WHOLE house in 30 minutes? well glad it was clean. A big hosue is a lot of work, but I love it, a place for everything. You made me laugh putting my name in there. I am glad for caos too, and not being alone.