Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Some say its real. Some don't. I don't believe I had this as a teen. I was the only girl with 4 brothers. They were annoying all the time and I voiced it. That is NOT PMS. or is it?

Can Someone Tell me WHY there is PMS? If there is PMS?

I'm puzzled as to the why. Cuz I am somewhat a believer in it. I will have days that I look at myself and say...Did you really say that? Or did you really MEAN what you said?

I cried at almost everything today. I cried when My Dentist was mean to me. I cried at the fact that I had to spend money on prescriptions, because I don't get paid until friday. I cried when Ron asked me if I needed money for said "scripts". I cried when the cold air hit my teeth at 6:30 in the morning. I cried when I saw Loretta's Bucket list. I cried at Em's posts about Kenner. I cried at LJ's pictures of here grand baby's. I cried when I read Rhonda's discovery. I cried when I cut the onions for the veggie soup. I cried when the pain of my face got too much to bear. I cried thinking of David in pain from his car accident.

I hate it. I love it. I love a good cry. Sometimes I don't always like when or why I'm crying but I do love how I feel afterwards.

I hate that I stand up for myself because maybe I should just "let it slide" like everyone else around me does. (well, except Shai, she is a bit tight, ha ha) I love it when I stand up for myself. I finally have the "nerve" to do it. I always wanted to tell people what I needed to. Like the Dentist today. I went in, I don't have insurance. I'm hoping she'll guarantee her work, ha ha. She comes in and and I say... You know, for the record, I did ask you to pull this. (now its absessed, and they have to root canal it or pull it) I did NOT do raspberries, but she sure acted like it. "Well, I pulled everyone's teeth that wanted them pulled they wouldn't have any teeth. blah blah blah is all I heard after I seen her little attitude come out. I believe I had the right to say...Remember me, remember me wanting this half rotten tooth OUT of my mouth. I know my mouth, I know its not worth saving, this has happened before.

Does it get me anywhere? I'm not sure. Maybe it just gets me LONELY when I'm older because people won't want to be around me cuz I'm a crusty crab.

I find it funny the one thing that I remember "receiving" in R.Y. was there are 3 kinds of people. Passive (you let people walk all over you). Aggressive (always violently demanding your way, basically), and Assertive (letting people know what you need...nicely).

I consider myself Assertive most of the time. The problem in my world is....they only listen when I'm aggressive. Sucks for them, ha ha! Sucks for me too, because then I feel guilty.

P.M.S. Is it just the Legal Way Women can get away with being Assertive/aggressive?


Food for thought


Bon said...

Ah Shannon, doesn't sound like you had a very good day yestarday, I am sorry. Ya I think at certain times of the month I am meaner then others, think PMS plays with our bodies. Ya I don't think it is fair that if we want to be heard then everyone says oh she is PMSing (well maybe we just want to be heard and noticed and not PMSing 365 days a year, lol). I am with you on that one, I am usualy a passive person and let everything just go by and say nothing, and then when i don't want to be passive then I am told I am rude or mean, or unsensitive, well where is there a happy spot that we can be heard and be happy and everyone be happy with how we are, not sure that exists but sure would be nice. Love you Shannon and hope you are doing better today.

gramee said...

my sister barbara just got put on 2 medications because she had such bad pms...
and she is so much better!!

i borrowed you and Karrea and a little bit of a blog of yours on my food blog


Rhonda said...

You could never be a crusty crab. People like to be around you or at least I do. Hope this week gets better for you.