Sunday, December 21, 2008

Knowledge can be freeing

I had the privilege of getting together with my friend Rhonda on friday. I was cleaning Jay's house around 10:40 and I got done around 12:00. That meant I was running late to get to Subway.
I was hoping Rhonda didn't leave. I got to subway and she was no where around. The manager came to me and asked if I was missing someone. She hadn't seen Rhonda so she sat down and chatted with me.
I must look like a person you can talk to becuase people talk to me. It truly is amazing! Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a dork, but I will talk with anyone about almost anything. I feel like I have a lot of experiences that can help others and I'm not afraid to share. I'm an open book. Why go through trials and not learn and share?

Rhonda came in. We made our sandwiches (salad on a bun for me please!)
We talked, we smiled, we laughed, we cried. We sat "forever". Adrienne called me and she came over too. We hung out. The troubles of the week came through. I hated it. I hated burdening Rhonda with my thoughts and fears, and troubles. She shared her findings this week.

I hope she doesn't mind me saying but she has done some research on Asperger's Syndrome.
What she was telling me was describing my husband. The very person who has been totally frustrating me to no end.

I got home around 7 or so. Remember, we met around 12:30 ish at subway, ha ha!
We get together and I don't know how to shut up.

When I got home, I shared with Ron what I had learned. I got on the internet and looked up Asperger's. I tell you. It was freeing. The understanding that Ron and I received free me of criticism. I am no longer nagging Ron into Social stuff.

I asked Ron what I could do for him? He said he didn't know. I said, are you willing to have the desire to learn how to be socially acceptable? He said YES. That was the first step. I told him I would try really hard not to be snotty in my teaching process. We set up a code. If I see him being inappropriate I will say...RON...STOP. Then we will go and talk about what is happening. I may be misunderstanding what he is doing.

I feel like the Lord has blessed me with a friend who is willing to share her struggles and wisdom. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that gives us the technology to learn and grow and become a better people.

I don't profess to understand everything about Asperger's. I have a little more than I did. What this really did was take the judgment away from my mind and my heart. Not knowing what Ron's "problem" was was driving me crazy. I feel a weight lifted. I have been praying for relief and understanding. God is an awesome God.

Rhonda and I were supposed to meet tuesday, but something came up. We set it up for friday. She found out her information on Thursday. It wasn't a coincidence. It was "destiny". ha ha!


gramee said...

now all that you have talked about ron during the years..
yes i believe you are right. it just sounds like you need to retrain him.. and all will be well. that is one reason why he is the most awesome dad!!

shayster said...

its amazing that I have stayed for 20 years. Its amazing that he means something different to me now. Wow, who knew? I also learned that people with ADD if they have caffeine it does the opposite. They can sleep, ha ha! That is so Ron too. I have a coke and I'm up all night. He has one, he's out. Like I said, who knew. haha!!