My friend and I were talking about food one time. She said to me...this is our Release (is that the word you used Tauna?) I thought about it. She is right.
I don't smoke.
I don't drink.
I don't read books (what's the sense I don't have a huge block of time without interruption.)
I don't party
I don't have money to go to the spa
or get my nails done...
I do work out at Just For Ladies and laugh my butt off with my SF. but when I'm at home or OUT working, I don't have a stress relief. I look for food.
I was home today. Bored. Feeling guilty for having food in the fridge that needed to be eaten. I didn't want it to go to WASTE, that it went to my waste. GUILT!!!!
I think its dumb.
It was good food. Brown rice and chicken. Mashed potatoes with FF sour cream, low fat cream cheese ( I don't know I didn't make them, Adrienne did and she wouldn't disclose how she made them, ancient chinese secret, lol)
But all day I have felt like a failure because 1. I didn't track my food 2. I did eat more than I needed too. 3. I should have found something else to do.
I heard that LDS women are the highest females on anti-depressants. I asked an expert, she said that was false, but I have to say....most of my friends/family use anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds. For years I have thought I needed them too.
until I got a new friend, and a new workout. Now I feel great. People say I look great, yet...the food looms. The temptation, guilt looms.
I was going to touch on Time Out for Women insight.
One of the speakers talked about Sin and Weakness
Sin... who is the author? Satan
what is its purpose...to keep us away from God
What can we do?
We can repent
Weakness...who is the author? God
What is its purpose, "I give you weakness...so you can make them strengths"
What can we do...find purpose, and strength
(that was a nutshell)...it was out of a book Forgiving ourselves. I can't remember the author.
remind me later and I'll get my photo notes.
So I'm not a sinner by over eating. (unless I break the Word of Wisdom, which I don't do)
I'm just weak!!!!!
Wow, that hurt to type. Cuz I'm NOT a weak person. I value myself as a very strong person...physically and spiritually. (emotionally, i'm weak tho. I'm hyper sensitive)
I'm WEAK...I'm WEAK... I'm WEAK...Food speaks louder than that NO YOU DON'T NEED IT VOICE!!!
Where can I find the strength. I have prayed for strength from this weakness. Nothing is clicking....
Shay........it takes time. Be Patient....Be Kind to yourself.
How can I eat without guilt? HMMMMM. I may have to take Brooke up on her offer.