Monday, June 28, 2010

I wouldn't trade!

I have been around a lot of children! I have been doing daycare for a long time! Adrienne was a one year old when I took on my first baby. Baby Keannea Spease. She was 5 months old. Momma would bring her into my bed around 5:30 am with a bottle and we would sleep as long as Adrienne let us. She was a delightful baby.
Next in line was Jasmine. She was a screamer! OOOHHH, was she spoiled, if she was not held, she was screaming! I was so grateful when she moved. Carlos was a big black Basketball Player for the Kearney State College. They were a good family, but oh, she had attitude!
I had a baby boy next. ALEC. What a sad sad sad situation. I only had him about 2 weeks. When you would hold his leg to change his pants he would scream. The police came to my home for a statement. There was a stand off at his home the night before. His daddy was going to kill himself. Come to find out Alec had two fractured legs. Daddy said it was because of the jumping Johnie, but the police think it was child abuse from daddy! I have always wondered what became of him. I hope he is doing well.
Next I had a little Mexican baby. Melanea. She was so cute. She was not there for me. She loved Ron. She screamed around me. I was pregnant with Shai, and I looked real funny with a 4 year old, one in the oven and one in a car seat, DARK baby! Oh, the good old days!
As I reflect on these babies, I reflect on even the older children I have had. Gangster Dean, Crazy Michael. Funny Kenny! Beautiful Eve! Intriguing Michael. Smarty pants Sean-Michael. I have truly been blessed to watch so many children grow up. Harley was a nightmare to watch as a baby, but as TWEEN? She is so beautiful. She loved to help with the babies. (even though she dropped one once, haha) I love it when I get them as a baby, and then I get them when they are older. What a priceless opportunity!
God.........You have truly blessed me with great opportunities to serve you! YOU blessed me to know when it was time for the babies or children to move on. It was usually Annoying! they started to get on my nerves. I hated the guilty feeling I got, but it was always God preparing me for the heartache! He knows me well enough, that its better to leave on Annoyed terms, then have a broken heart. For example, Dusty and Wyatt. Had them each since they were 6 weeks old. But as the time was drawing near for them to move, they were pushing my buttons. Screaming, getting into stuff, coloring on the walls, and the new TV. spitting food at me, etc. When before, they were perfect angels!
I started watching Kaleb since he was 6 weeks old. By the time he was 7 months old he was getting on my nerves. Fussy for me, but perfect for Ron. Jenn came to me and told me she was moving to Florida. (light bulb, now I know why Kaleb was so annoying, lol Change was in the air) When Kaleb was about 15 months old Jenn asked if I would watch Kaleb again. I wanted to say no, but YES came out of my mouth. He was truly a blessing. He is our little Kaleb Bug. He will be 7 this year and still loves to come to our house! WE love him and Jenn. I'm just glad I didn't let give into my first thoughts........"remember how annoying he was?" LOL

So why am I surprised that I this happened to me just as Adrienne was going to her new life. LIGHT BULB MOMENT. Its just Gods way! Adrienne doesn't mean to be annoying! It is just the way it is. We all are here to live and learn, and she will be doing plenty of that.....On Chris's clock and not mine! :D
I think and I reflect, though..... I said to Shai tonight.........I WOULDN'T TRADE YOU KIDS FOR ANYONE IN THE WORLD. YOU ARE ALL SO PERFECT FOR ME! She begged to differ. I tried to reassure her that I was serious! My four children are so neat! I hope someday I will have the courage to write to them and about them. My deepest feelings! I don't know if I'll ever be able to put into words exactly, but I will try! someday soon.
Last fall life was pretty dark.......bleak! Bleck! I just wanted God to take me home. Deep depression! The thought came to me.........You would miss so and so..........and a deep deep sadness came over me. I saw each of my children and what I would miss and then I decided I wasn't ready to see God yet! I have had a few feelings like that again about a month or so ago, but again, I cried, and thought.......I can live through this DOWN time, and be grateful for the UP.
God, thank you for my children (your children, that I get to share life's journey with)
I wouldn't trade them for any of your other children! LOL

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