Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Do the Best We Can

"An eternal principle is revealed in holy writ: "It is not requisite that a man run faster than he has strength. And again it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he may win the prize. " (Mosiah 4:27) We don't have to be fast; we simply have to be steady and move in the right direction. We have to do the best we can, one step after another.
--Elder Joseph B Wirthlin. Ensign Nov. 2001, 25

I find myself struggling with the steady and moving in the right direction. In the food department. There is nothing more frustrating then knowing what you should eat and still choosing not to eat it. Be it one reason or another.

You would think after 6 1/2 years of Weight Watchers I would make it a total lifestlye change. I lose sight of the goals that I should have. So here are the goals that made me start weight watchers

1. I wanted to get rid of the double chin
2. I wanted to be healthy
3. I wanted to learn how to eat right.
4. I wanted to teach my family how to eat right so they wouldn't struggle like I had.
5. I wanted to be THIN...finally
6. I wanted to wear cute clothes
7. I wanted to eventually work for Weight Watchers and help others in their struggle
8. I wanted to wear a size 10
9. I wanted to learn how to enjoy exercise.
10. I wanted Ron to love my body
11. I didn't want to be the FAT mom at school functions
12. I didn't want to feel like I was hiding from anyone or anything.
13. I wanted to feel comfortable around people.
14. I wanted more self esteem
15. I wanted to set an example to all those around me
16. I wanted CONTROL!!

as I read over this list, I have done pretty good at most of them. the final one is the major one I am losing ground with. I find that I have no control over much of anything.
I have a husband who actually has a mind of his own and a lot of times it doesn't include me.
I have an 18 year old who wants to spread her own wings and I have no right to "clip" them.
I have a 14 year old who is thinking her mother is stupid in this point of her life
I have a 10 year old son whose head is in video games and friends.
I have a 3 year old who you tell 10 times NOT to do something and she DOES it any ways.
So there you have no control. Messes everywhere, the food preferences are different, and life is crazy most times.

I felt my life spinning out of control when the final straw was when my best friend quit speaking to me. I fell to my knees and said. Father in Heaven...you see all the things that are out of control in my life. You know everything, you see everything, you know me. You know the struggles I had as a child with NO CONTROL. Is there anything in my life NOW that I CAN control?

He whispered to me. Shanon, you can control What goes IN your mouth, and What comes OUT of your mouth.

What a relief. So I have two things that I can have control over and I still find myself overwhelmed with just those two tasks.

so that will be part of my journey in this life I guess. This is one of the main reasons why I'm doing this blog. To see if writing about my journey will help me with this journey.


Brooke said...

Shannon, I have a 12 step manual put out by the church for addiction. I have found it comforting for all kinds of things. Let me know if you would like to borrow it.

shayster said...

I think that sounds good.

shayster said...

It has been 6 weeks since i have been OUT OF CONTROL! I'm so grateful!